Will Rogers Quotes
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
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It always will seem funny to us United Staters that we are about the only ones that really know how to do everything right. I don't know how a lot of these other nations have existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em really how to be pure and good like us.
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America has a great habit of always talking about protecting American interests in some foreign country. Protect 'em here at home! There is more American interests right here than anywhere.
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Give Americans a one-piece bathing suit, a hamburger, and five gallons of gasoline, and they are just as tickled as a movie star with a new divorce.
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The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
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We'll hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile.
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Get 'em all home, add to their number, add to their training, then just sit tight with a great feeling of security and just read about foreign wars. That's the best thing in the world to do with them.
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Art is when you do something just cockeyed from what is the right way to do it, then it's art.
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Cowardice or bravery is never racial. You find both in every country. No country has a monolopy on bravery; great deeds of heroism are liable to break out in the most unexpected places.
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If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business.
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Coolidge is the first President to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.
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You can always joke good naturedly a big man, but be sure he is a big man before you joke about him.
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We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
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Ain't it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve. But we just can't find one politician in a million with backbone.
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If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.
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A debt is just as hard for a government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that is handy all the time.
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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
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There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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Dear Sirs, I guess your pianos are the best I ever leaned against. Yours truly, Will Rogers.
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When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.
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Things in our country run in spite of government, not by the aid of it.
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A man learns by two things. One is reading. The other is association with smarter people.
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People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.
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Time has only proven one thing, and that is that you can't ruin this country even with politics.
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There is no argument in the world carries the hatred that a religious belief does.
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My Dear President:
Will you kindly find out for me through our Intelligence Department who is the fellow that said a big boat didn't rock. Hold him till I return.
Yours feeble but still devotedly,
WILLROG
That's code name for Will Rogers
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I think the best insurance in the world against another war is to take care of the boys who fought in the last one. You may want to use them again.
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The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
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There is only one way in the world to prevent war, and that is for every nation to tend to its own business.
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Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
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It's all right to fix the world, but you better get your own smokehouse full of meat first.
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Your mother gets mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day her mother was just on the verge of sending her to a reformatory, so we just got to live and let live and laugh the whole thing off.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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